Three words: puerto rican gang bang
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
