the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
