The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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