is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
