I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Farmville is her only friend.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
