Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
