Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
