your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
