**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
