I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
