she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
