Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
