they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
