i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize