He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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