explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
