i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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