I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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