Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
