Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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