He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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