he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
