Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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