...so i touched it.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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