i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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