what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
