I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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