Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
