There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
