I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I can text with my tongue
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
