they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
