I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
