Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
