dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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