Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
we should paint friendship bongs
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