WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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