I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize