first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
