Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
