my mouth tastes like poor choices
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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