There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
