Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
