dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How external is "for external use only"?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
