the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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