Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
