she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
