Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
