Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Mom said you looked used
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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