Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
