And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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