i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
