I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
