it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's never too late to be topless.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
