He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
This can only be settled by a dance off.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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