You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
