I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she peed on how many people?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
