Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
