best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Are we still banned from the library?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
