How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
