why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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