It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
