I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
