I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
