She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
