I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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